82nd day of 2009 03.23.09

First off HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER!!!!!

In mourning...........I heard this song when I got in my car today. I haven't heard it before; it's really good. I looked up the title when I got home.........unbelievable. My grandfather always called my aunt Sissy. Strange things happen.

Sissy's Song by Alan Jackson

Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

Love ones left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me

80th day of 2009..................March 21,2009

Why do I feel bad for owing my mom $700 when she spends $600+ on my brother monthly??!! And why does she make be feel bad about owing her this money? I will pay her back, yes it will take a while but she forks out loads of money for him all the time. She's paying $600 for his living arrangements and buying him EVERYTHING he needs. He is an alcoholic (trying to recover, again) and has always depended on her. I have a full time job, husband, kids and struggle every day to make ends meet but she don't help us. WHY?? I sometimes can't even afford to pay for the medicine I need each month. I swear if I had the money I would pay her back today and never ask her for another dime. Who's going to take care of her when she's old? ME ME ME!!! He won't. She thanks me for being her rock, well I'm sick of it all.

74th day of 2009................03.15.2009

In Loving Memory of

Aunt Gaynelle Lawrence

February 14 1945 - March 14 2009

"Far Side Banks of Jordan"

as performed by:

The Statler Brothers

I'll admit my steps are growing wearier each day

Still I've got a certain journey on my mind

Cares of this old world have ceased to make me want to stay

my one regret is leaving you behind.

If it proves to be His will that I am first to cross

somehow I've a feeling it will be

When it comes your time to travel likewise don't feel lost

For I will be the first one that you'll see.

And I'll be waiting on the far side banks of Jordan

I'll be sitting drawing pictures in the sand

And when I see you coming I will rise up with a shout

And come running through the shallow waters reaching for your hand.

Through this life we've labored long to earn our meager fare

It's brought us trembling hands and failing eyes

I'll just rest there on this shore and turn my eyes away

until you come then we'll see paradise.

And I'll be waiting on the far side banks of Jordan

I'll be sitting drawing pictures in the sand

And when I see you coming I will rise up with a shout

And come running through the shallow waters reaching for you hand.

And I'll be waiting on the far side banks of Jordan

I'll be sitting drawing pictures in the sand

And when I see you coming I will rise up with a shout

And come running through the shallow waters reaching for your hand.

And I'll be waiting on the far side banks of Jordan

Gaynelle I love you and will miss you dearly. I am so very sad you are gone but very thankful you didn't suffer in the end. All my hugs & kisses for you.

60th day of 2009 03.01.09

March 1st and we have snow. Yep you read that right SNOW!!! Amazing & beautiful. We don't get much snow in Georgia so we are very excited. The kids had a blast playing and they are out of school tomorrow. I went to the office today and brought work home, I may do some tomorrow or I may just build snowmen. The bad think about snow in Georgia is we have a lot of trees down which also mean power lines down. Luckily we still have power but you just never know.

I've gone 60 days without using a credit card and this month my credit card balance finally decreased! I'm very happy about this.